Logos of Experience and Truth

Unlocking the Mysteries of the Beatific Vision of God


Season 1

Episode 10 – Fertile Soil
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Logos of Experience and Truth
Episode 10 - Fertile Soil


Transcript Ebook


Martha and Mary, Meditation and Contemplation

If one has never asked if they are their true and authentic self, how can one seek to find it within the maelstrom of the mind? I discuss this difficult concept with my wife and share some of the findings along with ranting a bit on the various obsessions along the path that stood in my way of spiritual rebirth in the true self.


These discussion center around something everyone knows they’re dealing with, the combat within the mind of what the heart says to do and what the mind winds up doing instead. The submission of the will to the God, or the lack thereof.


  • Personal story of conversation with the wife on Pascal’s wager and the search for the self that is put through her medical degree and overworked womanhood and the comparison of each of us to the Biblical characters of Martha and Mary.
  • Several rants on finding the fertile soil for the seeds of ideas to be planted in my mind and my personal path towards breaking the old to find the new.
  • The battle within the mind and heart is the one of submission to the will of God and finding and listening to the inner voice of conscience or the spirit that leads us to the state of grace.

Click to Read Transcript



  • Deluge of information to show I know what I’m talking about after not knowing what I was talking about (01:31)
  • Conversation with wife about Pascal’s wager and the search for the self (02:12)
  • Parable of the Sower and seeds falling into fertile soil contrasted to conversation with wife about Pascal’s wager (03:50)
  • There is a process to dying to oneself to clear out the mind and turn it into fertile soil for the new (04:11)
  • Impossible not to speak on multiple subjects even though my focus is the Mysteries of Christ (05:16)
  • Wife’s medical degree meant she understood the neurological angle I gave in the search for the true self (06:04)
  • Difficulty in understanding the Vision for her even when I showed it to the depths (06:33)
  • How does one inundated with work and parental life find time to search for the true self? (07:02)
  • No satisfactory response for how one is to clear out their mind in the search for God. One simply does or does not (08:46)
  • The Desert of the Soul, or the time when one has to claw through their mind to dive deeper into it (09:20)
  • The Biblical passage of Martha and Mary that speaks on those that do versus those that think or pray (10:06)
  • What’s interesting is Martha speaks to Jesus whereas Mary does not (13:07)
  • Martha and Mary represent the difference in meditation and contemplation (13:31)
  • Seeing the parallels of this scripture to the inner voice of conscience (14:05)
  • What differentiates me from the studious person is I claim to have experience as well (15:38)
  • People like me with their head in the clouds exist to complement those like Martha that act on Earth (16:19)
  • Some humorous self-aggrandizements of the amount of time and study required to speak to my wife in a couple minutes and ignite her mind (17:33)
  • It’s taken 20 years to understand my mystical experiences before bringing them to an audience of listeners (20:18)
  • The fertile soil takes time with the Mysteries and is like the Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner (21:32)
  • Primary obsession that needed to be overcome was video gaming (22:33)
  • The first commandment and finding God (22:53)
  • The seeds, or ideas, planted in the mind may take a while to mature (24:06)
  • The Parable of the Sower interpreted in light of seeds being equivalent to ideas (24:32)
  • God continuously tosses seeds into the mind to hit fertile soil (26:21)
  • The pruning of ideas is equivalent to the Baptist saying what doesn’t produce is tossed into the fire (26:38)
  • Finding the true self is like doing a fresh install of windows on the computer of your mind (26:50)
  • Is listening to this podcast perhaps God calling? (28:00)
  • Another rant on randomness not being at the foundation of reality and instead as an aspect to what makes it interesting (28:11)
  • Further reflexive nature of the microcosm and the macrocosm to you the listener as to why you are listening to this podcast (29:31)
  • Mini revival in 2009 failed for me because I didn’t want to give my time over to God (31:45)
  • The mental block that hit me early in my desire to write on the Mysteries (33:33)
  • Benefit of video gaming obsession and time sink once I realized it (34:21)
  • I failed in writing because I couldn’t match what I’d come to believe was required for writing (35:39)
  • Training myself to believe in the complete opposite is what finally destroyed this mental writer’s block (36:07)
  • Know and identify the destructive voice inside of your own mind (37:56)
  • Video gaming obsession was the lesser of two evils at the time I started to play for hours on end (39:01)
  • Jesus telling you to be perfect was the parable that angered me the most when I’d stop to think about it (39:44)
  • The perfection Jesus speaks of isn’t about our daily Martha-like activities (41:12)
  • The combat that occurs in the mind of what our heart tells us to do and what our mind instead does for whatever reason is what the Mysteries hopes to solve (41:57)
  • Perfection Jesus speaks of is the state of Grace the Church has tried to teach (43:08)
  • Finding Grace is when you finally hear the Master’s call in your heart and respond as Isaiah: Here I am Lord (44:02)
  • The submission of your will for God’s will continues over and over again as gold refined in the fires (44:32)
  • The process along the spiritual path can both be long and hard but can also hit you in a flash (44:44)

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